Thursday, February 21, 2008

Wheeeeeere is Love?

So, the musical "Oliver!" has been a big part of my life in the last two days. Yesterday, I listened to the fun songs quite a bit ("Oom-Pah-Pah", "It's a Fine Life", "I'd Do Anything", "Be Back Soon"), but today I was more somber and reflective, so I gravitated toward "As Long As He Needs Me" and "Where is Love" and it got me thinking about love. You get some people who are in love and are pretty "meh" about it. Not too happy, not too sad, just really content and comfortable, which is fine. Then there are people who claim to be in love, yet bitchbitchbitch about their significant other relentlessly and never seem to actually show that they are in love. And then there are people who are actually happy in love. You can just FEEL that they love their partner when they talk about them. You can see in their eyes that being with them completes them. Now, this last type of love usually exists for most couples in the beginning of the relationship, and then after they are together long enough, it fades into the "content and comfortable" stage. And honestly most people stay in some form of the "content and comfy" love forever. Now, this isn't a bad thing. Heck, I think even my parents are in the content type of love and they've been married for almost 40 years. It's the most normal type of love out there.

But, I want more than that. I want the love that makes me want to wake up early, just so I can look at him sleep. I want the kind of love that makes me smile just to think about him. I want the kind love that makes me want to actually shout from a rooftop (or balcony or somewhere equally highish, yet accessible). I want the kind of love that makes my heart flutter when I'm with him. I want the kind of love that just gets stronger and stronger the longer we're together. I want the kind of love that, 30 years down the road, will still make my heart flutter.
I'm sure that it's not rational to want a love like that, and maybe I'm silly to think it even exists beyond movies. But, honestly, if that type of happiness doesn't exist, then why bother trying to find love at all? I think setting myself up to end up in another "content and comfortable" relationship would be settling for something less than what I need and less than what I deserve. I want a love that will make me genuinely happy.

This makes me think of the movie "Practical Magic", where Sandra Bullock's character picks her prefect man and gives him qualities that she doesn't think exist. But, fast forward a decade or two and who rolls into town? Why, it's Aidan Quinn! And he's Mr. Perfect, with all of his impossible qualities! I shall now make my own Mr. Wonderful™, who most likely doesn't exist, but I can dream, can't I?

Mr. Wonderful™ will be tall, handsome, witty and charming. He'll sing to me a silly song at random times, even if it's in the middle of a crowded restaurant, just because he knows it will make me smile. He'll slow dance with me in the kitchen while we make tacos and hum our song as we sway. He'll play Legos and Hide & Seek with Jackson and will love kids. He'll love to snuggle and watch stupid movies, but will back off when I need some me time. He'll tell me he loves me and mean it every freaking time he says it. He'll be less paranoid and more laid back than me and be able to talk me down when I get hung up on something, which will happen quite a bit... (I stress out a lot!), but that won't phase him. He'll be the kind of guy who likes to be able to be there to rescue me from my own mind and then tell me I'm crazy and then bombard me with kisses until I'm smiling again. He'll be the kind of guy that will never have to tell me he loves me, because I will know just by looking at him that he does (but, of course, he'll tell me all the time. And mean it.). He'll still piss me off sometimes, but we'll never be so mad that we belittle each other, and we'll never go to bed angry (and the make up sex will be FANTASTIC!). *ahem* Where was I?... He'll get along with my whole family, and will enjoy their company, and vice versa. Oh, and he'll leave me little notes with little haiku poems when we aren't able to see each other at home...*sigh* Sounds pretty wonderful to me!

Ok. I think that's enough daydreaming for one night. But, it did serve its purpose. It's made me optimistic about love again, which is always a good thing. Now to just find this elusive man one day and all will be right in the world of the Karen.

Music pick for the Day: "I Caught Fire" by The Used
Beverage pick for the Day: Cherry Coke (booo soda. Need to cut back again!)
Socks for they Day: white, pink and black Felix the Cat